


In the Eye of the Beholder

by sidebyside_archivist



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-09-01
Updated: 2000-09-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:08:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25581115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidebyside_archivist/pseuds/sidebyside_archivist
Summary: Kirk has to face his feelings for Spock when he is confronted by Spock's lover.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock, Spock (Star Trek)/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 66
Collections: Enterprise Love, Kirk/Spock Online Festival (KSOF) 2000





	In the Eye of the Beholder

**Author's Note:**

> Note from LadyKardasi and Sahviere, the archivists: this story was originally archived at [Side by Side](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Side_by_Side_\(Star_Trek:_TOS_zine\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2020. We tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Side by Side’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sidebyside/profile).

Kirk opened one eye and immediately blinked. Dawn had broken, and the early morning sunlight filtered into his room. Red rays spilled on to his bed and his face, burning his eyes. He turned his back to the light, and snuggled into his pillow. A motion beside him captured his attention.

"Good morning," said a soft, lilting voice.

//Blonde, green-eyed, and very pretty.// Kirk realized he had only a vague memory of meeting the woman who was sharing his bed. //What was her name? Sheila? Shirley? Cheryl? Shit. Damn Bones and his Finnacle Follies anyway.// "Uh, hi," grinned Kirk. He shifted in bed and took a good look around the room. It wasn't his own. He sat up. The movement started his head pounding, making him groan.

"Maybe I can get you something for that," smiled his bed mate. She lifted the sheets and climbed out of bed. She was naked. Despite the hangover, Kirk felt the stirring of his cock as he watched her gracefully walk across the room to the bathroom.

//Shelly? Damn. What was her name? I can't believe I did this again! I have to stop fucking people I don't know.// Kirk glanced at the clock. //Oh shit!// He jumped out of bed and dressed quickly.

"I can't find...Leaving so soon?" asked the blonde as she returned from the bathroom.

"Ahhh, I've got a 7:30 state breakfast to attend," smiled Kirk. "Sorry...maybe we'll see each other tonight?" he asked, not really wanting to see her again, but wanting to say something nice. //Damn. I really, really have to stop doing this.// He pulled on his left boot, straightened his formal tunic, gave a kiss on the cheek to his one-night lover, and left.

He hurried down the hall, skipped by the turbolift which already had a lineup of people waiting for it, and headed for the stairs. He took them two-steps at a time as he ran down three flights to the fifth floor. As he exited the stairwell, he almost ran into McCoy who was stepping out of the turbolift.

"Jim, where the hell have you been?" he asked anxiously.

"How do I look Bones?" Kirk asked, as he continued to walk down the hall to his hotel room.

"It's 7:25! You have five minutes to..."

"I can tell time." Kirk reached his room, and entered the security code to open the door. "Where's Spock?"

"What am I a baby-sitter?" Kirk gave McCoy an annoyed glance.

"You gave him today off remember?"

"I did what?!" Kirk entered his room, threw off his tunic, grabbed his deodorant, applied it liberally and headed into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He checked his face in the mirror. //Not too bad.// He smoothed water across his hair.

McCoy came into the bathroom door way and leaned against the wall. "Someone had a good time last night," he grinned. Kirk looked into the bathroom mirror, caught McCoy's eyes, and glared.

McCoy shrugged. "Spock tried to stop you from picking up that redhead last night remember?"

//Redhead? I woke up with a blonde, didn't I?// Kirk washed his face.

"You got pissed at him, told him to take today off, enjoy his shore leave, stop worrying about you...Is any of this clicking with you, Jim?"

"Uhhh?"

"That's what I thought."

Kirk mumbled something while brushing his teeth. "What was that?" asked McCoy.

Kirk spit into the sink. "What happened with the redhead?"

"She dumped you because you kept staring at Spock."

"I was not!" Miffed, Kirk brushed past McCoy.

He stopped, turned back and breathed into McCoy's face. "What do you smell?"

"Winterfresh toothpaste and Saurian Brandy, quite a mix I might add," smirked McCoy.

Kirk ignored him and looked at the clock, 7:28. "Okay, you go downstairs and stall. I'll find Spock." He threw on a clean tunic, and headed for Spock's room, two doors down and across the hall. //I should apologize. Although it's not like Spock isn't used to

my behaviour by now.// He sighed. //I should apologize.//

He didn't bother to buzz. Spock never locked his door and Kirk had unspoken permission to enter his quarters. Kirk opened the door and strode into the room.

"Spo...." Kirk's voice cut out. Shocked, he stood frozen barely inside the door. Spock was on the bed, naked. His legs splayed. A young Vulcan, also naked, was at his groin, sucking on Spock's stiff cock. Spock gasped and stared at Kirk, a deep green rising on his face. "Jim..."

Kirk cleared his throat. "Uh, uh, sorry," he stammered. He could feel his cheeks grow hot as he turned and walked quickly from the room. Outside, he leaned against the wall. His pulse was quick. His nerves were on end. He couldn't believe what he'd just seen. //Spock naked. Spock having sex. Spock's cock...in that mouth. Spock's thick, green, wet...// Kirk took a few deep breathes and tried to relax before heading down to the banquet room.

A few minutes later, he was downstairs with McCoy.

"Where's Spock?" asked McCoy.

"He's not coming." Kirk turned his head away from McCoy, effectively keeping him from asking more questions. He took in the surroundings. The hall was huge, fitting at least 5,000 people. A buffet table with various items of breakfast food from Earth to Vulcan to Rigel lined one side of the room.

The hall was brightly coloured. Red, green and gold celebration streamers flowed along the ceiling and walls. A stage with a podium was set up at the far end for the speakers, including Kirk.

At the tables sat dignitaries, ambassadors, Federation bureaucrats, and Starfleet personnel, eating and speaking, among themselves. Admiral Komack was one of the Starfleet personnel who had made the trip to Vulcan. When he looked at Kirk, Kirk gave him a yes-I'm-here-and-I-made-it-on-time smile. The Admiral looked unimpressed.

Above the hall entrance was a sign written in Vulcan. Kirk couldn't pronounce the written words, but knew they read something along the lines of "Happy Surak's Birthday." Surak's birthday was celebrated annually on Vulcan, but this year was special as it was the 2,000th anniversary of his birth. This year also celebrated 1,900 years since the start of Vulcan's Reformation period. It was a period that saw Vulcans move away from being a violent, emotional race to a logical, peaceful one under the tutelage of the middle-aged Surak.

Not everyone on Vulcan celebrated that event. The Reformation saw the exile of thousands of Vulcans; whole families had disappeared off the planet as they moved into space to practice their own philosophies of life. For hundreds of years afterwards, Vulcan debated the exile of their orphaned kinsmen.

But, the debate had slowly subsided and had been quiet for the last one thousand years. It had risen again after the Enterprise had fought with a Romulan ship at the Romulan - Federation border early last year, and had discovered the Romulans' Vulcan physical appearance. After examining the Enterprise tapes, Vulcan genealogy experts had determined that the Romulans were the 'lost' Vulcans of the Reformation. They had recently printed their conclusion in a respected Vulcan science journal.

Eyebrows were raised across Vulcan because of the article, but were raised even more so when the Vulcan government responded by calling the conclusions "premature in the extreme" and that "more study was needed" on the issue. It wasn't often that the science community and the Vulcan government disagreed.

Officially, Vulcan didn't recognize that there had been exiles during the Reformation. The official opinion on the subject was, "They left by their own choice."

However, a small, but vocal faction of Vulcan had taken up the Romulans' cause, demanding that the government recognize the Romulans as the Vulcan exiles and asking them to start a repatriation process. They also disdained Surak for driving off other Vulcans.

The group was largely formed of young Vulcans, who criticized their planet's celebration of Surak and the Reformation through debate, an underground media, and demonstrations. Their activities were unsanctioned by the Vulcan government and disapproved of by most of the rest of Vulcan society.

All of the group's activities had been peaceful, but as Vulcan prepared for the week-long celebration, threats were received, mainly from mercenary groups who were eager to capitalize on the situation. Starfleet had been called in by the Federation to ensure security for the events; Starfleet had called in the Enterprise.

Events though had gone off as planned with few protesters. Last night saw the final dinner banquet and dance. This morning was an official good-bye. For the Enterprise, the end of celebrations meant the beginning of three days of shore leave.

Kirk rubbed at his head, which had started to thump again. //Only the Vulcans would have an early morning official breakfast after a late night party.// McCoy, who had disappeared for a few minutes, returned with two glasses of orange juice in his hand. He handed one to Kirk.

"You don't look too well Jim," he observed, taking a sip from his own juice. "Do you want something for the headache?"

Kirk shook his head. It didn't help his headache when a few seconds later a voice boomed out over the speakers surrounding the hall. The M.C. was starting the closing ceremonies which meant Kirk was going to have to get up and speak in about 15 minutes. He reviewed his speech in his head.

The 15 minutes seemed to go by rather quickly. Kirk stood at the podium and looked out at the crowd. He had smiled and opened his mouth to speak when he saw Spock enter the room. Kirk closed his mouth and swallowed. //What's he doing here?// He stared at Spock, who stared back at him. Spock looked away, found McCoy and walked over to their table. Kirk began his speech.

A half-hour later, he was sitting at the table with McCoy and Spock. McCoy was chatting with a brunette. Spock sat quietly, rolling a glass of Zaca between his fingers. For the first time since he met Spock, Kirk felt uncomfortable. His hands were sweating.

//Spock was having sex. Spock..was..having...sex.// He couldn't get the thought out of his mind. Then a new thought came to him, //Spock has sex...outside of Pon Farr.// Kirk reached for the glass of water before him. He swallowed half of it. He seemed unable to breathe properly. He looked at Spock who was looking down at his glass. Spock looked up; Kirk shifted his head down to his own glass.

//I should say something. What should I say?//

"Hey Jim, there's that little lady you were getting friendly with last night," said McCoy, interrupting Kirk's thoughts. Kirk looked up. The blonde had come into the hall.

"Oh yeah,...Shelby?" questioned Kirk, looking embarrassed.

"Shelby? Who the hell's Shelby?" asked McCoy.

"Sandra?"

"Jim!" laughed McCoy. "Don't you think you should at least know the names of the women you sleep with?"

Kirk sighed.

"Tamaike," said McCoy.

"What?"

"Tamaike zel Abeitestoko. That's her name. She's an attache to the Alpha Centaurian ambassador."

Kirk stared at McCoy, who just smiled back. He looked at Spock, who was as expressionless as Kirk has ever seen him. Kirk felt the heat rise in his cheeks again. He turned back towards McCoy. "Maybe I'll go over and say hi to her." //I did leave pretty quickly this morning.// Spock raised an eyebrow at him. //Was that a hint of green flare on his cheeks? Anger? Nah!// Kirk got up from the table, but looked back after a few steps to take another glance at Spock.

Leaving McCoy and Spock behind, he walked across the room to Tamaike, who was in a deep conversation with a Vulcan. Kirk didn't recognize him until too late. It was the young Vulcan who had been giving Spock the blow-job.

//Shit, out of the frying-pan and into the fire.// It would've been rude to turn around and walk away, so Kirk put on his best official smile as he greeted the pair.

Tamaike gave him a dazzling smile. She wrapped her arm around his. "Jim, have you met Sharbon?" She asked.

"Uh, not formally," he answered. Sharbon nodded at him in welcome. He was tall and thin, with a face that seemed sculpted, high cheek bones, a well-defined chin, beautiful swept up eye brows, and dark, deep-set, intense eyes. //He's beautiful. And, he's Spock's lover.// His hands began to sweat again. He wiped them on his trousers.

"Sharbon and I were just discussing the recent debate over the Reformation. He sympathizes with the protesters," said Tamaike.

"In what way?" asked Kirk.

"History cannot be changed, but it is possible to...rectify some...errors," said Sharbon. "The repatriation of the Romulan people into Vulcan society should begin immediately."

"You realize they are our enemies," said Kirk.

"There has been no declaration of war with..."

"No, but there have been years of animosity that resulted in the Neutral Zone," interrupted Kirk.

"The Neutral Zone was created by your fathers' fathers. What was right for them is not necessarily right for our generation...or for the future," said Sharbon. "I am not an idealist or unrealistic, Captain; that would be illogical. But, it is logical to assume that peaceful overtures on our part could result in better relations. We should let them know they are welcome on their home planet. It is likely that repatriation will take hundreds of years. But, the sooner we start the process, the sooner it will end."

No one spoke for a moment as Kirk thought over what Sharbon had said.

"Commander Spock agrees with me," said Sharbon.

Kirk started. Sharbon stared at Kirk intensely, challengingly. His eyes gripped Kirk's. //What the hell?// Kirk smiled at him. "Well, that's interesting." He looked at Tamaike, and then back at Sharbon. "I think I should mingle a little more."

Instead of mingling, Kirk left the hall and went outside. It was still morning, but the Vulcan sun had already heated up the day. Kirk walked over to a nearby garden and settled onto a park bench. He ran his hands through his hair. He had an unfamiliar feeling of despair in his stomach that seemed to cascade through his body. He also felt very tired.

//What is wrong with me?// He buried his head in his hands.

"Captain," came a voice from behind him. Kirk turned. It was Sharbon.

"I apologize for the intrusion Captain, but I..." He stopped for a moment. "I have wanted to meet you for sometime now."

"Really," said Kirk, dryly, deciding to fake uninterest. He was still confused by Sharbon's intentions. "Why is that?"

"Because of Spock." Sharbon stood before Kirk. He folded his hands in front of him, relaxed and confident. "He is my lover."

"I figured that out after...well, you know." Kirk looked up at him. "Just out of curiosity, how did you two meet anyway?"

"He was interested in the movement for the repatriation of Romulans, as was I. The movement is still in its infancy. We hardly have a leader who will be taken seriously by the established rulers of Vulcan, not to speak of the Federation. Spock offered his support. We met at a repatriation meeting held at Starbase 23 soon after your encounter with the Romulans."

"And, it was love at first sight," said Kirk with a bitterness that surprised him.

"For me," said Sharbon. "For Spock...he wants another."

"Who would that be?" asked Kirk, not really sure he wanted to know the answer, but interested anyway.

Sharbon raised an eyebrow. "You Captain," said Sharbon quietly. Kirk stared at him, unblinking. "He loves you. I may have his body, but you have his heart and mind. That is why I wanted to meet you."

Kirk, stunned, said nothing.

"Do you love him Captain?" asked Sharbon.

"I...I'm not...I didn't think Spock was..."

"Gay," finished Sharbon.

Kirk nodded his head. "I didn't think Vulcans thought it was logical."

"That is a perception I have heard before. It is similar to the belief that Vulcans do not or can not love." Sharbon paused. "I want him Captain, not just his body, but his heart and his mind as well. I want him as my T'hy'la. But, he wants you to be that for him."

"What do you want me to do about it?" asked Kirk.

"I want you to reject him or battle me in Koon-ut-Lam-ai."

"Excuse me?"

"If you do not love Spock and know you can never be a lover to him then you must tell him, otherwise Spock will go on thinking that perhaps one day you will come to him. He'll never give himself to another. That is unfair to Spock...and to his lover. If you do love Spock, as I love him, then we will battle for him in Koon-ut-Lam-ai."

"Isn't that supposed to be Koon-ut-Kal-if-fee?" Asked Kirk.

"That is a ritual for bonded Vulcans. As you know, Spock is unbonded, as am I, however, I wish to bond with him."

"And, I'm standing in your way," laughed Kirk suddenly all too aware of Sharbon's subtle challenges towards him. Things were happening too fast. He spoke, but even to Kirk his voice sounded empty, emotionless. "By all means, bond with him if he'd be happy with you. Be his mate, I can't offer him..." The bitterness had returned to Kirk's voice, and once more it surprised him.

"Then you reject him?" asked Sharbon.

"What do you want a written note?" asked Kirk, exasperated.

"I want you to tell Spock."

"Fine, I'll tell him tonight," said Kirk.

Sharbon just looked at him for a few moments, nodded his head and left. Kirk leaned back against the bench. The heat of the day was stifling. He could hardly breathe, but he didn't want to move to the cooler hotel either. He sat and stared out at nothing, but his thoughts were racing.

//Spock loves me? Why haven't I noticed?// Kirk swallowed a sense of guilt that he did notice, but had ignored or rejected the thought. //But, he's with Sharbon now.// Frustration flared within Kirk and then anger at his frustration. //Damn it, what the hell did you think Jim? That he was going to wait for you? Wait for me? Do I want this?//

The park where he was sitting had gotten busier. Vulcans of all ages walked by him with a sense of purpose in their steps. Impressive and dignified, they all seemed to exhibit a certainty in life that Kirk wished he could take from them and hold on to for dear life. He thought of Tamaike, and then his thoughts traveled to Edith, Carol, Ruth, and Janice. //Edith is dead. Janice probably wishes I was dead. Carol swore to me she was doing me a favour by dumping me and I dumped Ruth. `Well, so much for relationships.//

//Would that happen with Spock? Why wouldn't it?// Kirk wiped the sweat from his brow. //Spock's better off without me. Friends, but not lovers.//

****

It was evening before he saw Spock again. He was standing in the hotel lobby talking with McCoy. The large, usually spacious lobby was filled with people as patrons prepared to leave. The Surak celebrations were over. People were going home.

Kirk cleared his throat as he came up to McCoy and Spock. "Spock, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few moments?" McCoy gave Kirk a querying look. Kirk ignored it. Spock nodded his head in affirmation. Giving McCoy a good-bye look, Kirk led Spock upstairs to his room and locked the door behind them.

"I've been avoiding this all day," sighed Kirk, squeezing his hands together nervously. "But, I suppose we have some things to talk about." Spock remained silent. Kirk soldiered on. "I had a little talk with Sharbon this morning," said Kirk. That got a raised eye brow from Spock.

"Interesting," he said. "May I ask what the nature of the conversation was?"

"You, of course," answered Kirk. Kirk paused a moment, then continued as if out of breath. "Look, I'm sorry I burst in on you and him this morning. I..."

"There is no need to apologize. You have always had access to my quarters. It was an oversight on my part that we did not engage the privacy lock," said Spock. "Were you......upset?"

"I don't know what I was to tell you the truth Spock. Surprised, I guess. I never thought you...well, actually, I never thought you were interested in sex period. It never seemed as a high of a priority to you as it is with me. But if anyone deserves a loving relationship, it's you Spock. I wish you and Sharbon well."

Kirk watched Spock's face for the slightest change in expression. His eyes seemed a bit downcast and a flicker of something passed across his face. //Sadness? Disgust? Thankfulness?//

"I am...grateful for your words, Captain. Perhaps, one day you too will find someone..."

"Maybe," said Kirk, a little too quickly. Kirk's heart was beating hard in his chest. He wondered if Spock knew about Sharbon challenging him. //Did he put Sharbon up to it? Or was it just a jealous lover trying to get rid of a rival?// Kirk decided not to ask, instead he blew out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding and unlocked the door.

"Well now that that's out of the way, what about some dinner?"

It was almost midnight and Kirk couldn't sleep. He tried counting sheep. It didn't work. He tried thinking of a fantasy woman. It didn't work. No matter what he tried his thoughts always went back to Spock...and Sharbon. //Were they together tonight? Making love? What did it matter to him if they were?// Kirk sighed. He closed his eyes.

His mind raced back to that morning and the scene of Sharbon sucking on Spock's cock. Spock's cock, swollen, and stiff. He thought about it entering Sharbon's mouth, moving in and out, but then the scene changed in Kirk's mind, and it wasn't Sharbon's mouth, but Kirk's. His mouth moved to lick Spock's shaft. His tongue flicked up and down the sensitive flesh. He could hear Spock moaning. The tip of his cock gleamed with pre-cum. Kirk licked it, slurping up the pungent liquid. He wrapped his lips around the head and sucked hard. Spock moaned again.

Kirk, his eyes still closed, moaned. His cock was stiff and throbbing, his balls, tight. He moved his hand down his body to his cock. He gripped his shaft and started to pump. In his thoughts, Spock had started to pump as well. "Yes Jim! Yes!" he yelled as his cock moved deep into the back of Kirk's mouth and then almost back out again. Kirk unconsciously licked at his lips. His mouth was dry, but he could almost taste Spock. His cock. His cum.

Kirk's hand moved faster on his own cock. He started to thrust violently as he imagined Spock thrusting vigorously into his mouth. "Yes! Yes!" Shivers raced through Kirk's body. His body stiffened and his cock shuddered as he came into his hand.

Kirk felt wholly unsatisfied after his orgasm, but he managed to fall into a restless sleep.

Dark images. Spock kissing him. Kissing his body. Kissing his mind. The heat of his hands seared Kirk's body. Kirk lifted his hips. Spock's hands were on his ass, his thighs. Kirk was turned over. His ass lifted in the air. His cheeks parted. He felt Spock's cock

pressed against his opening, but he didn't enter.

"Fuck me. Oh gawd, fuck me Spock," Kirk begged.

Spock was in him. His hands gripped Kirk's thighs as he fucked him. Kirk held on tight to the bed and thrust back onto Spock. He could hardly breathe, a sob broke from him. His cock was aching. Pre-cum dripped onto the bed as Spock moved within, pounding against him. Kirk could hold on no longer. He cried out as his orgasm broke within him.

Kirk sat up in bed, breathing heavily, and very groggy. After a moment, he caught his bearings. He was alone in his hotel room and his bed sheet was sticky with his cum. //A wet dream!// He buried his head in his hands and tried to capture his composure. He looked at the clock, 8:55 a.m. He sighed. //Might as well get up.//

"You look like hell, Jim," drawled McCoy, as he sat down for breakfast. "Didn't get any sleep last night?"

"I slept." Kirk looked at the food on his plate, but didn't eat. Instead, he used his fork to move his scrambled eggs around on his plate in a little circle, round and round they went. Kirk's mind drifted to last night, and his wet dream. //Do I want Spock to fuck me?// His body shivered. His cock shifted. //I want Spock!//

That thought both frightened him and exhilarated him. A relationship with Spock wouldn't be the same as his other relationships. Spock was on his ship; he was his First Officer. At that moment some sense made Kirk look up. Spock had walked into the room with Sharbon. Kirk felt a pang of anger directed at the younger Vulcan.

"You just going to let that happen?" asked McCoy, shoveling some egg into his mouth.

"What?" asked Kirk, confused.

"Spock and Sharbon."

"What about them?" Kirk went back to playing with his eggs.

McCoy snorted. "You idiot."

Kirk looked up at McCoy in surprise. "Listen Bones...," he said, angry.

"Dammit Jim, you listen." McCoy let out a breath, getting angry at Kirk will just get his back up. "You should see the way you two look at each other on the Enterprise. The way you touch him and smile at him. You can be in the worst mood, but if Spock walks into the room, your eyes light up. They sparkle. You sparkle. Why can't you see that?"

Kirk said nothing. "I don't know," he answered finally after he realized McCoy was leaving the question in the air for him to answer.

"Why hasn't Spock ever said anything...if," Kirk hesitated, unsure what to say next.

"I'll give you five good reasons for that," said McCoy. Kirk looked at him with suspicion. "What?" He finally dared ask. "Lenore Karidian, Allison Fichaud, Areel Shaw, Connie Wayne, Helen Noel, and Edith Keeler." Kirk wondered briefly if he should reach across the table and try to throttle McCoy. He gritted his teeth instead. "You want five more?" asked McCoy, unintimidated by Kirk's growing anger. "That waitress on..."

"Oh, shut up," said Kirk.

Nobody said anything for a few minutes.

"Do you ever find any comfort with the women you sleep with Jim? All those women, and yet, do you really know what love is? What it could be? What it might be with Spock?" McCoy badgered him. Kirk remained silent. McCoy smiled gently, then quietly asked, "What are you afraid of Jim?"

"Nothing."

McCoy sighed. "You're afraid of something, Jim, or you wouldn't be sitting here with me. You'd be over there telling that young Vulcan punk where to go and how fast to get there. You'd be fighting for Spock." With that McCoy scooped up the last of his egg, finished off his coffee, and left the table, leaving Kirk alone.

//What am I afraid of?// He watched Spock and Sharbon together. Kirk wished it was himself sharing breakfast with Spock. His stomach started to ache. Spock, perhaps sensing him looked over and nodded at him. //He's beautiful, dark eyes, wonderfully pointed ears, and that logical mind.// Kirk inhaled sharply. //He could be mine, should be mine. Spock wanted him. Sharbon said so.//

Sharbon and Spock got up and left the hall. Kirk impulsively got up and followed them out. His breakfast was left untouched. Spock headed to the turbolift. Sharbon for the exit. Kirk followed Sharbon and caught up with him outside.

"Is there something that I can do for you Captain?"

Kirk made his decision. He cleared his throat. "Yes, Sharbon. I'm challenging you to the Koon-ut-Lam-ai." A sense of relief started to filter through Kirk's body. He relaxed and watched as surprise spread across Sharbon's face. He recovered very quickly though as his face took on a mien of calm confidence.

"Is the fight to the death?" asked Kirk.

Sharbon raised his left eye brow. "Captain, shouldn't you have asked that before challenging me?"

"No, it doesn't really matter now either. It's just that I have a starship crew that might like to know if I'm about to, uh..." Kirk could've sworn he almost saw Sharbon smile.

"It will not be to the death," said Sharbon. He started to say something else, but then hesitated.

"What is it?" asked Kirk.

"Captain, you don't...Spock, would take you without a challenge. All you would have to do is go to him."

Kirk smiled. He felt lighthearted, almost dizzy. "Let's just say I owe it to Spock."

Sharbon seemed to understand. "You don't plan to tell him about the challenge then."

Kirk shook his head. "Captain, what if I win? Will you stand aside?"

//Shit, I hadn't thought of that. What if I lose? Sharbon would expect that I would allow him and Spock to bond. And me and Spock?// Kirk studied Sharbon. //A Vulcan is tough to defeat in battle under any circumstances. Why take the risk? Because you can kick his ass, Jim. How many years has Spock spent watching me bed woman after woman. He deserves to be fought for. And, I have much to make up for. Besides, I won't lose.//

"Fine Sharbon, if you win you get Spock. Where and when? It has to be while Spock is not around. Somehow I don't think he'd agree with this, despite our good intentions," said Kirk grinning.

"Spock is going to the T'Zan lecture tonight. He'll be gone at eight. We'll meet here at nine tonight, and I will take you to my family's place of honour."

Kirk nodded. Sharbon turned and walked away.

Kirk spent the day watching the clock and nervously pacing wherever he was, and apparently driving McCoy up the wall. "Would you quit that," seemed to be a constant refrain from McCoy, while Spock just watched him inquisitively. Emotionally, he alternated minute-to-minute from jealousy for remembering Spock's cock in Sharbon's mouth to excitement at imagining winning Spock and taking him for his own. Finally the clock clicked 20:55, he went down to the lobby. Sharbon was already waiting for him.

They went into the desert. With the sun down, the heat was bearable. Sharbon's family land of honour was not much different than Spock's. Large stones circled the land, giving the place the look of an arena. Sharbon lit six torches placed along the inside of the circumference of the circle. The lights lit up Vulcan's red sand, and put a strange eerie, glow over the proceedings. Sharbon went to the center of the arena where the fire pit was and lit it. Beside it lay two lirpas, the weapon had a razor sharp knife at one end and something resembling a battering ram on the other.

"Aren't we supposed to have referees, or something?" asked Kirk.

"If we were to make this challenge official, we would have to tell Spock, and the fight would be to the death," said Sharbon. "We will fight until one of us surrenders or is knocked out. The winner will take Spock as mate. Those are the only rules. Is that acceptable?" Kirk nodded his head.

Sharbon handed him a lirpa.

The two men circled each other, gripping their lirpas. Nobody attacked for a few minutes, but Kirk finally got impatient and parried with the blunt end. Sharbon knocked the parry away, and quickly counterattacked with the razor-sharp end. Kirk jumped back. Sharbon's attack missed, but as the lirpa swung past Kirk, he grabbed hold of the center bar and pulled Sharbon forward.

At the same time, Kirk raised his knee and drove it into Sharbon's chest. He gasped as air violently left his chest. Kirk made a fist to strike him, but Sharbon grabbed his wrist.

Kirk yelped as Sharbon squeezed his wrist tightly. He could feel the pressure building in it. His wrist was going to break if he didn't do something soon. Kirk kicked out with his foot, tripping him. Sharbon didn't release his wrist, but his grip loosened.

Sharbon grabbed Kirk's lirpa and drove it back into his chest. It was Kirk's turn to gasp as he lost his breath. He fell back.

Sharbon moved to fall on top of him, but Kirk rolled, and got up on his knees. Sharbon was faster, striking Kirk with the blunt end of the lirpa. Kirk managed to avoid the full force of the strike, but it still hit his right shoulder and he was back on the ground again breathing hard.

//If this was in the heat of the afternoon like the last time, I'd be dead by now.// The cooler night air made it easier to breathe, but Kirk knew Sharbon still would be able to outlast him. //I have to finish him off quickly.//

Kirk got up to his knees, but Sharbon was above him. Sharbon swung with his lirpa. Kirk parried the blow with his own. Sharbon leaned down on top of him, pushing Kirk back to the ground, face-to-face, his lirpa at Kirk's throat.

"YOU will NOT have Spock," said Sharbon threatening.

The lirpa was starting to cut off Kirk's air. Kirk wondered if Sharbon planned to kill him.

He had contemplated that fact. //It's one way to get rid of me - permanently.//

Kirk gritted his teeth. His shoulder ached. His wrist ached. He managed to curl his knees and with his feet he shoved Sharbon back and away. Kirk got to his feet, gasping for breath. Sharbon was already back on his.

"Isn't jealousy, or is that envy," gasped Kirk still trying to get to his breath back. "Illogical?

"Spock wanting you is illogical," said Sharbon.

Kirk's eyes flared with anger. He spit sand out of his mouth. "I guess that's why we're here...to show that it isn't."

The two circled each other again. This time it was Sharbon who broke the pacing. He struck out with the razor-sharp edge of the lirpa. Kirk yelped as the blade ripped through his tunic and his skin. Kirk swung back with the blunt end again. His lirpa broke over Sharbon's. //Oh shit!//

Kirk drove forward, diving on Sharbon's lirpa before Sharbon could swing it again. Sharbon batted at Kirk with his hand, hitting his right cheek, his eye, his mouth. Kirk gritted his teeth and held on. Finally, Sharbon drove his foot into Kirk's right knee. Kirk collapsed, but pulled Sharbon down on top of him, so he still couldn't use the lirpa.

Both men were sweating. Their eyes gripped each other.

Their faces were taut with the effort and strain of pushing forward, while holding the other at bay. Kirk tried to grab Sharbon around the neck, but his hand slipped off. Sharbon managed to pull himself from Kirk. Kirk kicked at him again and rolled away.

He picked up a half-end of his lirpa, the blunt end, and as Sharbon charged, Kirk swung with all the energy he could muster. The end met Sharbon's jaw, and Kirk could hear the bone crack as it broke.

Sharbon's face showed surprise, and then pain as he collapsed, knocked out. Kirk dragged himself to Sharbon to make sure he was still alive. He was. Kirk picked him up, throwing him over his good shoulder and headed for the closest hospital.

Thirty minutes later a Vulcan doctor was looking at Kirk suspiciously. Sharbon had awakened en route to the hospital, but neither had spoken to the other the rest of the way.

But now, with Sharbon lying mournfully on the hospital bed, Kirk felt a pang of guilt. His jealousy had led him to this. This was a man who loved Spock, who had challenged Kirk to love Spock, or let him go. Kirk had found that he couldn't let him go and Sharbon had paid that price. Kirk leaned over and lightly brushed Sharbon's forehead and squeezed his hand. Sharbon squeezed his back and closed his eyes.

Kirk left him alone.

It was almost 11:30 when Kirk got back to the hotel. Spock was expected back at midnight. Kirk went straight to Spock's room, stripping off his clothes. //I need a shower.// The sand had stuck to his sweat, while the taste of blood and sand mixed in his mouth. He stepped into the shower and let the water massage his body. After a hot 10 minute soak, he dried himself off and walked naked to Spock's bed and climbed in. //He should be here in about 15 minutes.// Kirk smiled at the surprise he knew he'd find on Spock's face when he saw him there in his bed.

But, he never saw it, within five minutes he was sound asleep.

Kirk awoke when he felt someone sit down beside him on the bed. A hand came up to his face to caress his cheek. Kirk opened his eyes, but found he could only open one. He looked straight into Spock's face with his one unswollen eye. "Spock," he whispered.

"Jim, what happened to you?" Spock's hand moved from his cheek to his hair. He ran his fingers through it, and then moved his hand down the side of Kirk's head. He cradled Kirk, looking at him with eyes full of concern.

Kirk tried to sit up, but fell back to the bed when his chest constricted. His ribs ached. His wrist throbbed as did his right shoulder. He looked helplessly up at Spock. "I don't think I can move."

"Perhaps, I should call Dr. McCoy," said Spock.

"No, don't. I'm fine really." Again Kirk tried to sit up. This time, prepared for the pain, he managed to get to a sitting position. Spock put a hand on his shoulder.

"Spock, Sharbon and I we, uh, we...," he swallowed. "I won a Koon-ut-Lam-ai challenge against him." Kirk looked at Spock, watching his face for any negative expressions from that announcement.

Spock lightly touched a bruise on Kirk's right hip. He circled the tip of his finger around its edges, not daring to touch more, lest it should cause pain. "Sharbon?"

"Is in better shape than I am." Kirk looked at the clock, 1:15 a.m. "He's probably out of the hospital by now." Spock raised his left eye brow. "He's fine," said Kirk. "But I did manage to crack his jaw."

Kirk smiled. "The only thing Sharbon will be sucking on for the next week-and-a-half is his S'Kalia, through a straw."

Spock stared at Kirk intensely. He moved suddenly, pressing his lips lightly against Kirk's bruised ones. Surprised, Kirk pulled away, but Spock moved a hand behind Jim's neck and pressed his lips harder against Jim's. His tongue slipped into Kirk's mouth. Kirk recovered from his surprise and returned the kiss.

Their tongues fought against each other, while Spock's hands moved lightly along Kirk's naked body, feeling his hips, his thighs, and then back up to his chest. Kirk felt the familiar stirring of his cock. He reached up underneath Spock's tunic to squeeze at his nipples. Spock's mouth left his and gently kissed his bruised cheek. He moved down to Kirk's neck, and then to his right nipple, sucking on it, forcing it to harden. Kirk groaned.

"Jim, why did you take such a chance?" Spock kissed Kirk's body, harder and harder.

He traveled along his chest, down to his abdomen, to his belly button. "Sharbon might've killed you."

"That thought had crossed my mind." Kirk moaned. Spock's lips had moved to the inside of his thighs. His breath was hot against his balls. His nose tickled the hair at Kirk's groin. Kirk raised his hips.

His cock was erect and hard, but Spock ignored it. Instead, he moved back across to Kirk's right bruised hip, lightly brushing his lips against it. Kirk ran his fingers through

Spock's hair. "Spock," he gasped. "Spock."

Spock grabbed hold of both of his hips, raising Kirk's butt off the bed, while his mouth came down over Kirk's hard erection. Kirk groaned, and tried to thrust in Spock's mouth. Spock held him still as his mouth sucked at the head of Kirk's cock. He flicked his tongue into the slit at the tip of Kirk's penis. Pre-cum was dripping from it. Spock sucked at it, lapped at it, twirled his tongue around inside in it.

Kirk sobbed. He arched his back as Spock took him deeper into his mouth.

"Oh yes, Spock," whispered Kirk. Yes." Spock stopped.

"Don't stop," begged Kirk.

Spock opened the drawer to the night table, producing a bottle of lubricant. He grabbed hold of Kirk's shaft and lovingly squeezed it, then he gently kissed the tip.

"You must promise me something, Jim."

"What?" gasped Kirk, the pleasure of his hard-on was quickly turning into pain. He watched in agony as Spock lubricated one of his fingers.

"Promise me that you'll never enter another Vulcan challenge." Spock didn't wait for a reply. Instead, he moved Kirk's penis back into his mouth and sucked hard. Kirk gasped. He felt Spock's hands at his hips again, raising his ass. He felt a lubricated finger press into him. When Spock hit his prostate, Kirk came in a gush, sending his hot sperm down Spock's throat.

He lapped up every last drop of cum.

Spock climbed on top of him. His mouth went back to Kirk's lips and his tongue was back in Kirk's mouth. Kirk slipped his hands underneath Spock's shirt and stripped it off.

He undid Spock's trousers, releasing his thick slick erection.

In no time, Kirk had him naked. The two cuddled on the bed, chest to chest, cock to cock.

Spock was moving on top of him. His cock, wet with pre-cum was sliding along the shaft of Kirk's penis. It was making him hard again.

"Spock," whispered Kirk. "I want you to fuck me." Kirk kissed at a pointed ear, then nibbled it.

Spock answered his request by moving off him. He grabbed the lubricant and slicked his penis. He gently lifted Kirk turning him until they were spooned together.

Kirk leaned into him until the back of his head rested against Spock's shoulder.

Spock fit a finger into his ass and then two. Kirk gasped at the sensation. He thrust back on to the fingers.

"I want you Spock. Oh gawd, I want you," he sobbed. Spock withdrew the fingers. Lightly lifting Kirk's ass, he gently entered him and softly began to thrust in and out.

One hand caressed Kirk's head, his hair. The other moved down to touch Kirk's cock, which was standing hard against his tummy. He kissed Kirk's neck. "Jim..." Spock groaned. "Jim, I wish to mind meld with you," he whispered.

"You don't need to ask."

Spock's fingers found the meld points. His right hand wrapped around Kirk's waist. He started to move up and into Kirk more forcefully, while Kirk shifted his body down.

Every move was multiplied by the meld. Every groan felt by the other. Kirk reached down to grip his cock, and started to pump.

"Fuck me, Spock. Fuck me," he begged.

Spock groaned and moved even faster within Kirk. His cock thrusting in and out.

"Yes Jim. Yes," he groaned. He pounded Kirk's prostate. Ecstasy and pain gripped Kirk.

His bruised body was screaming at him, but it was nothing compared to the pleasure.

His hand pumped his cock. His mind swam in Spock's ecstasy.

"Oh gawd, Spock. Ohhhh!" Kirk's body shuddered and he came, shooting sperm into his hand. His orgasm caused his anus to spasm and it squeezed Spock's cock. He came with a groan that Kirk could feel in his own body. The two trembled as their muscles relaxed from the orgasm.

Sated, Kirk leaned his head back on to Spock's shoulder. Spock wrapped his arms and legs around Kirk, holding him to him tightly and placed another kiss on his neck. "What about my promise?" he asked.

Kirk's eyes twinkled mischievously. "But Spock, I'm just starting to get the hang of it. I won this time. There must be some other ancient rituals that I can participate in. Heck, I just wouldn't feel at home here if I didn't get beaten to a pulp by peaceful, pacific Vulcans at least one-a-year."

"Jim!" Spock raised his head off the pillow to look at Kirk.

He looked back at Spock with a wicked grin, eyes twinkling merrily.

Spock sighed and dropped his head back on to the pillow.

He held on to his lover, not wanting to ever let go.

"Jim, I've dreamed of this. Of us together," he said.

Kirk, eyes closed in exhaustion, smiled. "So have I Spock. So have I."


End file.
